Elon Musk has revealed his design for a new high-speed transportation system called the Hyperloop and the media has gone berserk. I don’t understand why. Elon says his invention will revolutionize transportation. Really? It’s essentially a pneumatic bank tube with people inside. Now I’m no scientist, but if I can’t send a roll of quarters to the teller, how are you going to stuff a family of four with luggage into one of these things?

Will it work? Who cares! It looks so funky.

Elon says his Hyperloop can get you from San Francisco to L.A. in approximately 30 minutes. That’s good because if it took any longer one of the passengers is going to need to take a leak. I’m sure the residents of Bakersfield would not appreciate a steady stream of urine ejected from passengers traveling at 700 miles per hour. Did Elon take micturition into account or did he think the pee would just vaporize? And forget Number 2. At those speeds you’d be creating the world’s most deadly potato gun. Only that was no potato that took off Grandpa’s head. Yuk.

Continue reading Hating on the Hyperloop: Screw Elon Musk and his Bank Tube for Humans